God Sets the Lonely in Families

We feel tremendously privileged to be able to parent these silly treasures!!

And we are so very excited to be on this new journey to our boys!!

(oh how I wish I could share their photos)

I am speechless as I watch God's plan unfold before our eyes!!

We have wanted to grow our family...

We have fasted, we have prayed, we have cried out to HIM!!

And now our Heavenly Father is moving mountains!!!

We have filled out paperwork in record breaking time.  

We have submitted and/or requested 

all documents for our agency clearance and for our dossier.

Right now the only thing standing in our way to move forward is money.  

We have stepped out in faith by scheduling both 

our psychological update meeting (this Thursday the 23rd) and

our home study update visit (next Tuesday the 28th...My 40th birthday), 

without having the funds in hand. 

They are the last two things needed to be able to send our dossier and file with immigration!!

We truly believe that God has hand picked our sons to be in our family,

and therefore, we believe that HE will provide every step of the way!!

We have had folks ask how they can help us fund our adoption.  

We set up a paypal account "Bring Our Boys Home" that can be found on the right tool bar.

by clicking the DONATE button it will walk you through the steps to make a donation.  

In Psalm 68:6 has been so heavy on my heart over the past few days.  

For so long I took the verse to mean that 

God causes Families to have a lonely spot, a desire to welcome more family members.  

Today I decided to read it in in several different versions

it says,

"God Sets the lonely in Families..." (NLT)

"God settles the solitary in a home..." (ESV)

"God places the solitary in families and gives the desolate a home in which to dwell..." (AMP)

"God provides homes for those who are deserted..." (HCSB)

"Father of orphans, Champion of widows, is God in his holy house.  

God makes homes for the homeless..." (MSG)

"God settles those who have been deserted in their own homes..." (NET)

"God gives lonely people a family..." (NIRV)

It speaks directly to the orphan and widow friends!!

I love the versions that say...

God provides homes for those who are deserted

and

God settles those who have been deserted in their own homes

I love love that God has called us to be "their own home" for three more boys!!!!

They will know love and laughter

they will be allowed to be children

they will be treasured

They will be in their own family!!!

You may not be called to adopt...

but if God is tugging your heart,

would you help make a difference to these three?  

Ready? Set...GO!!!!

Ready?

Set....

GO!!!!!!

The email that will change our lives forever!!

In my last post...weeks ago

I wrote about a sibling group of three boys 16, 11, and 9.

I wrote to try to find a family willing to open their hearts and be their forever family.

What I didn't write was how torn my heart was.  

I could not take my eyes off of their beautiful faces.

I prayed for them night and day.

Although we have been chomping at the bit to adopt again this year, 

we knew the Philippines was off limits because of the two year nurturance law between adoptions.

Even so, the boys messed me up!

I would leave their photo open on our computer hoping my husband would see it and declare that they were our boys and we had to find a way to bring them home.  

Each time, 

hubby walked the other way...

the computer screen would go black before he passed...

or her didn't enter the room at all.  

Finally after a week of praying and doing the computer/photo dance...

I asked him to look at a photo.  

He said, they are great looking boys Joy, but we cannot adopt them.

I said I know....but I cannot stop looking at them and thinking about them and praying about them!!

He gave me that knowing look of his, and went on with what he had been doing.  

Later that week, our agency put out another notice about the boys and how the oldest was becoming dangerously close to aging out.  Their forever family needs to start the process immediately!!  

I contacted our Philippines adoption coordinator and asked her to please let me know when a family came forward for them.  I shared that I wished I could be their mama...but since that was not possible...would she please please let me know when God answered my prayers and brought them a family!!  

Our agency response sent me screaming, crying, and dancing around the house.  

I may have terrified Aaron for a minute...but the girls knew it had to be adoption related to get this relatively calm mama to react in such a way:)

They asked, If the ICAB would give us an exception to the two year wait...would we adopt the boys?

I frantically called my husband

I was hyperventilating and simply did not have clear speech!!

You see, God had done the miraculous in opening a door!!  

We impatiently waited for the boys files to arrive for our review so we could request permission to adopt.  We waited through Christmas...made the request on December 26...then waited some more!!!

Yesterday, January 10th, I got a simple email from our agency coordinator (whom I love!!!)...

Ready?  Set...GO!!!

WHAT????  Could this really be happening????

Does this mean what I think it does???

Of course I sent out a frantic phone call just to hear those words over the phone.  

So bloggy friends...

WE ARE ADOPTING AGAIN!!!!!

I cannot begin to tell you how very excited we are to 

be growing our family again through adoption!!!

We are at the very beginning stages of gathering our documents for our dossier.  

The process often takes a year for a Filipino adoption.

My mother's heart is hoping/praying that somehow...some way...

our boys will make it home before our oldest leaves for a year in Africa.  

But I am trusting that 

the awesome...holy...faithful God that hand picked our boys for us

will bring all things together in HIS perfect timing and according to HIS perfect will!!!!

Wrecked...All I Really Want This Christmas

Maybe it is the fact that Thanksgiving is so fresh on my mind.

Maybe it is the joyous Christmas season of celebrating the greatest gift ever given

JESUS

and sharing priceless memories as a family.

Maybe it is the season where hearts are open to giving.

And where I am asked what I would like for Christmas.

Whatever the reason...

my heart, already wrecked for the orphan, breaks for those not yet chosen!!!

At times I wish God could place a viewfinder from my heart so folks could see the overwhelming love and pure joy that comes from adoption.  

I wish folks could truly see the priceless unconditional love that can come from welcoming an 

older or special needs child into your heart and home.  

How that love is planted, nurtured, and grows into something breath-taking.  

Oh how I long to remove the fear that holds so many wonderful families from stepping out!!

How can I better explain God's unwavering faithfulness

and that when HE places the lonely in family

HE will provide every step of the way as we step out in faith.

How do I help people understand why we are praying fervently for God to help us 

sell our beautiful home so that we can find something less expensive... 

freeing up finances to feed more treasures.   

I think the only way to express it is with the children themselves!

Have you gone to AdoptUSKids and looked at the GORGEOUS children who are 

legally free and waiting for a forever family??  

I can tell you...I have!  And I lose my heart each and every time!

If for nothing else, take the time to pray for each of these treasures 

to be placed in their forever family.  

When you realize how long it takes to say even a sentence prayer 

on behalf of each child in your home state alone....

then you begin to see the magnitude of children,

by no fault of their own, who wait for a family.

You can swing over to 

No Hands But Ours

to see treasures from China who are in need of a forever family.  

or 

Rainbowkids

Where you can see photo lists of children around the world 

longing for a forever family.  

There are many, many, many other places to learn of waiting children.  

But, I want to tell you about some beautiful faces that I have seen...

some I have wrapped my arms around...

who wait in the Philippines.

These are faces that, because of country restrictions, 

cannot have their photos on the web or social media.

Let me start by telling you about "J", a precious 12 year old boy 

that I had the pleasure of meeting and wrapping my arms around in January.  

This sweet spirited young man lives in an orphanage in the Philippines.  

"J" loves to run and play,

and has gentle eyes that can melt your heart.

Although he has some developmental delays...

his English is better than most in the orphanage!!  

He looked in my eyes, politely answered my questions, 

and was engaged for the duration of our conversation.  

Our oldest daughter, who also has a sweet spirit, 

was so very drawn to this young man!

They spent time talking and playing together. 

When I think of "J", and his tender heart,

I become overwhelmed with the reality that he has watched 

COUNTLESS 

children leave for their forever family!!!! 

Can you imagine waiting your entire life for something as important as a family...

and regularly watching others that you have grown up with...

leave for their family??

I know God has hand picked a Mommy and Daddy for this treasure.  

And I am praying daily that his family will boldly step forward for their precious son!

This week I learned about a sibling group (16, 11, and 9 year old boys).  

Yes, my heart is wrecked again!!

The oldest brother is tall (compared to his brothers that he has his arms around) dark, and handsome.  He has a genuine, heartwarming smile as well.  The middle brother (who turned 11 yesterday) has a shy grin, and the youngest pumpkin has a glowing smile and cute little glasses:)

These three are very bright, healthy boys that long to have a family, an education, and a future!!

They need a family to step forward for them immediately because the oldest boy will turn 17 in February.  My understanding is that he can only be adopted with his siblings up until age 18 (The ICAB gives two extra years for children that are part of a sibling group).  Because of the length of the process, they need a family to step up NOW!!

What I really want for Christmas this year?  

I want families that have a heart for adoption to not allow fear, or money to stand in their way.  

I want "J", and the three brothers, to have a family willing to call them treasured sons.

I want people to see that when we ask Christ to break our heart for what breaks HIS...

we become wrecked for good and are willing to pray one more treasure into his/her forever family!!!

Please take a minute to watch my new favorite song...

Steven Curtis Chapman-All I Really Want For Christmas

And think about what you really want this Christmas:)

Too Good Not to Share

As God continues to stretch and grow us, 

there are times when we look to others, in the body of Christ, for encouragement. 

As my heart longs to be a mom of many, 

I often look to seasoned mamas who walk their lives outloud

being real, giving all glory to Christ.  

Although I have only met her in the bloggy world, 

Miss Linny, over at A Place Called Simplicity   

is one sweet mama of many that blesses me so very much!!

Because of her encouragement I am going to choose to share a

Memorial Box Monday Post as well:)

I shared in earlier posts of how God was so very faithful 

in providing every last penny we needed to adopt our son, 

and how HE went above and beyond to bless our socks off...

just because HE can!!

Over the past several months, 

we found ourselves in a difficult position financially.

No, I am not just talking about adding a teenage boy that can eat you out of house and home:):)

In what felt like a very short time, 

we had preparation for braces for one child,

extensive dental for another.

There were physicals, specialist consults, ultrasounds, 

and a surprise surgery.  

We had a need for an orthopedic specialist,

and three batteries of allergy testing.

Quite frankly, it was the making of a medical/dental snowball 

that felt as if it could consume us at any given moment.

I probably should not admit this, 

but at some point...we stopped opening the envelopes.

We just filed them unopened into a plastic bin.

The enemy of our soul wanted us to feel 

overwhelmed...

hopeless...

irresponsible...

defeated. 

But the truth is friends...

We are more than conquerors in Christ (Romans 8:37).  

We knew in Christ's strength we could open the envelopes and calculate the debt accumulated.  

We had to know the total so we could hand it over to Christ 

and trust HIM to lead us in how to meet the need.

We tucked our children into bed, and took out "the bin".  

Together hubby and I opened, piled, organized, and calculated.

We wrote that ugly number down, circled it, and started petitioning for God to intervene.

We prayed together, we prayed alone, we prayed with the kids for God to provide.  

We had no idea where the money could come from.  

We had already completely cut everywhere we could conceive with our human minds.  

But GOD!!!

Two weeks after writing that number down...

God provided in one lump sum...

from a source we would have never guessed...

JUST BECAUSE HE CAN!!!

Friends, 

I can tell you God does not always answer within two weeks,

and rarely in my experience has he answered in one lump sum...

But what I can tell you is this...

HE IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL

in each and every circumstance!!!

And each time he answers the petitions of our heart,

our faith grows to new levels and we have confidence to step out boldly for HIM!!!

A Time to Give Thanks

It is so very humbling to look back on all the ways 

Christ has stretched us as individuals and grown us as a family this year!!

We have so very much to be thankful for!!!

Often we share this special holiday with extended family or friends.  

This year we spent the day as a family of five.

Our newest treasure had many questions about 

what Thanksgiving is, what we will do, and of course...

what will we eat:)

He is not terribly fond of trying new foods 

so we decided to fill him up with some comfort foods for breakfast. 

(fried rice and toyu (salty fish cooked in oil)) 

I accomplished the baking yesterday.

(Homemade bread, Pumpkin Pie, and Lemon Sponge Pie 

(takes me back to my Pennsylvania roots and reminds me of home)

Today my hubby made the turkey AND the rest of the sides!

He is so very fabulous and blesses me tremendously!!!

The day was spent 

thanking the Lord for our many blessings,

making thankful crafts,

eating, eating, eating,

watching the parade on tv, 

playing board games,

watching football,

did I mention eating??!!??

And when it was time to go back for leftovers this evening,
our sweet boy asked if he could go back to his fish and rice:)
We all giggled until his fish fell into the cooling apple crisp...
life is never dull around here,
and we would never have it any other way!!!!

I pray that all of you in bloggy land had a 

blessed, Christ-centered holiday!

From our family to yours...HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Ugly Can Spill Out...

I made a commitment to live out loud 

as we grow in Christ and grow as a family.  

There are times that I am tempted to hide my raw emotions

and only share the victories on this faith journey. 

But I am reminded that I need to be real...

even when those feeling/emotions are raw and potentially ugly.

Yesterday, I felt broken

my heart hurt deeply

and somehow, the enemy of my soul whispered his ugly nothings

and tried to convinced me that I am not a good Christian

because of my fleshy feelings that I was experiencing.  

Let me explain...

I have shared openly that my heart's desire is to be a mom of many.  God has richly blessed our family with 4 priceless treasures (three in our home and one in heaven).  HE has grown us and broken our hearts for what breaks HIS.

We have prayed many times each and every day that God would lead us to the next treasures HE has hand picked for our home.  We pray as a family, the kids and I pray during our morning devotion time, and I cry out to God in my alone time with HIM.  We have knocked on many doors over the past ten months.  (we have tried to return to the Philippines earlier than the two year rule, and have pursued adoption through the foster system)  And so far it has not been God's will for our family.  The doors closed each time.  

With over 150 million orphans world wide...

with the fact that we are open to children from every nation, tribe, and tongue...

and the fact that we are open to children age 0-12 (because our baby girl would rather not remain the youngest...we adopted once out of birth order.  It is going very well but we want to respect this request for the next adoption)

Because we are not specific to a country or age...it is at times unclear where to walk.  

I have specifically been praying that God would bring the next children to us.  That HE would remove all questions of who/where and bring our littles to us.  So when we are contacted, we walk through the door fully believing it could be answer to that prayer.  

Over the past months...

We were contacted about fostering (with a possibility of future adoption) a sibling group that we know personally.  We said yes, took steps forward as doors opened, and prepared our hearts for these treasures.  In the end it was not God's plan for the sweet littles or our family and the doors eventually closed.  

Five weeks ago we learned of an urgent plea to keep three siblings together from Colombia.  We stepped out and asked for information.  We learned that another family asked for their file before us.  We were happy that a family came forward for the children and had peace with the closed door.  

Last Monday we were contacted by a fabulous social worker that we worked with while pursuing domestic infant adoption.  We had not been in communication with her for a very long time.  She asked if we were still interested in adopting and if our home study was up to date.  A baby was born three days before and was in need of a family.  Once again my nose was to the carpet of our closet (my special prayer place) and I cried out to God to open doors...IF IT WAS HIS WILL.  In the end, it was not HIS perfect plan for the sweet treasure, or our family.  

Two days ago I got an email about the sibling group of three from Colombia.  The family that pulled their file was not interested in following through with the adoption.  The social worker wondered if we would still consider adopting them and if I would be available for a phone conversation the next morning.  Look at that, a door that was closed 5 weeks prior was back open.  We said yes please!!  We were back on our knees before the Lord seeking HIS will.  And, I was preparing a place in my heart and home for a 12, 9, and 6 year old.  I was also wrapping my mind around having THREE 13 year olds in my home at the same time.  (The oldest is 3 months younger than Kylee:):)

Yesterday I spoke to the social worker.  We had a very long conversation, and the social worker answered my many questions.  About 45 minutes into the conversation, after hearing much about the children and losing my heart to them, the social worker paused.  While talking to me, one of her co workers passed a note that said that they just got word that a family from another agency just sent a letter of intent to the powers that be in Colombia to adopt the sibling group.  Door closed....a second time:)

Bloggy friends, 

I know my Heavenly Father is completely in control!!  

I know he has a fabulous plan for our family.  

And I am confident that HE will continue to bring sweet treasures to our family in years to come.  

We have specifically prayed for HIS will and for HIM to open/close doors.  

I actually pray very regularly that HE would save me from myself and not allow me to go down a path that is not of HIM because my compassionate heart can get me in much trouble:)

HE HAS FAITHFULLY ANSWERED ALL MY PRAYERS!!!

At the same time...

I am human, I am a sinner saved by grace, I am selfish, and I have a mama's heart.

Because of this, as I sprint forward in what God has placed on my heart...it can be painful...and my ugly can spill out!!!  

I have shed many many tears over the past week.  I have asked God why he would allow me to know about situations that are not for me (I told you my fleshy selfish heart comes out!)  I have asked why HE would open doors again just to close them a second time.  

My mind knows the truth friends.  I pray MUCH for children on waiting lists around the world, I pray for every situation that God brings to my knowledge.  Each situation that appeared to be an open door leads to much prayer for the children, their caregivers, the birth family, and the adoptive family (whoever they may be).  

The obvious answer is that God brings about situations for me to pray.  

And he uses every single situation for my good...to grow me in my walk with HIM.

Where my fleshy, human, selfish heart comes in is that I want to also walk forward to fill our home.  When I see the gorgeous eyes of littles needing a home, or hear their story...I want to be their mama.  

I know I cannot parent them all.  Aaron actually teases me regularly about having a couple million:):)  (He is also the first to ask when the next children will come to our home and makes sure I haven't forgotten his vote is for boys:):)

I have been told that I need to choose to not be emotionally attached.  I have been told that some people can control their emotions better than others.  I have been told callously that the situations are not God's plan so I should be thankful and move on.  

My head truly knows to be thankful in all circumstances.  I know that I "should not" be wrecked over each closed door.  I know to be content in the waiting.  And God truly knows my heart in this journey.  

But friends, I am not a super Christian.  

I do not have it all together.  

I am  so.  not.  perfect.  

The truth is... my heart hurts.

I am letting my ugly hang out in this novel because I believe there are others out there that struggle in the waiting...struggle knowing the great need, having the heart to move, but not having a green light yet.  

There are others like me that are not perfect and have to be reminded to not only ask Christ to open doors and show His plan....but to cry out to father God to heal our aching heart and teach us to love the giver even more than the gift.  

There are others that need to wrap themselves in God's promises, physically cry out to HIM,  and get lost in his infinite goodness!!

So often we want to appear to have it all together.  We do not want to let the world see our ugly.  Because in our finite viewfinders, we do not see that others struggle with similar challenges.  

I am completely conscious of the fact that these endless words are for my benefit and may never resonate with someone else.  

But in the even you are struggling.  In the event your heart hurts for one reason or another...know that it is ok to hurt.  God made us in HIS image and desires for us to be like HIM.  

The process of stripping selfishness, and growing in love and compassion... for me...may be a painful process.  BUT, I know that Christ is full of love and compassion.  When I run to HIS arms, wrap myself in HIS truth, rest in HIS presence...HE will comfort and give me peace.  

I do not believe that we can prevent our ugly from rising up at times.  

The important thing is what we do when the ugly spills out!!  

Life Keeps Moving Forward

I have no real excuses for not keeping up with the blog writing side of things.  

I think there are seasons where I need to share it all out loud,

and seasons that I cherish the moment and ponder it in my heart.  

And, truth be told, there are seasons where you just hope that you can accomplish a great school day, your shirt isn't inside out, and there is a clean pair of socks somewhere in the house.

We have shared some fabulous moments as we grow together...

A very special young lady turned 13!!!!
and is growing into such a beautiful young woman!!
(I know...we need more locks for the house)

We spent the afternoon taking pictures at her favorite place...

 with her favorite 4 legged friends.

  

She went on a very special dinner date with her daddy!!

They talked about trusting daddy with her heart until it is time to give it to another.

 After their special date they came home to have cake and presents with the rest of the family.

We love you sweet girl and look forward to seeing what this next year brings!!

Aaron has made great strides over the past weeks as well.

He is not a tremendous risk taker.  

He likes to know what is planned and what is involved in a given activity.  

It took much courage for our sweet boy to try out for a competitive team!

For weeks he tried everything he could to get out of going to practice and games.
But that was his fear talking.  

Aaron is growing in confidence each time he walks on the court!!

Yesterday was a rough day for this mama.  (my next post for sure)
Aaron, looked at me and said, "Mommy, do you know that I love you?"
BE...STILL...MY...HEART!!

Oh the growth we have made!!!!!


Our oldest baby girl is growing as well.
She has been seeking God's will for her life
as we near the end of the first semester of her senior year.

Mélika has known since she was 13 that she wants to be a full time missionary.
The challenge has been to discern God's plan for getting her there.

Her youth pastor gave a challenge to the graduating seniors...
he asked them to consider putting their plans of college/jobs aside for one year
and GO to serve others and seek God's will for their life.
The catch is that they would not choose WHERE they would go.

Our daughter is absolutely beside herself excited
about where she is going and what she will be doing.
(I choose not to share the location online for her safety and those she may be interacting with)

Here father and I are also very very excited for this priceless opportunity
to be the hands and feet of Christ!!

And this will be just one more opportunity
to keep this mama on her knees before our Father God!!