I have been quiet over here at grown2worship.
Not because there is nothing to share.
It is quite the opposite really...
my heart is bubbling over and I would love to spill my guts.
So what is holding me back?
fear of hurting another adoptive mama's feelings, fear of jealousy, fear of sharing too much...
The bible is clear that fear is not of the Lord!
so it is time to put fear in it's proper place...under my feet!!
When on the adoptive journey
(or any other journey God has you on)
we have to realize that Christ is completely in control of the journey.
What do I mean...well, if we pray for God to
lead us to our children,
HIS WILL BE DONE...
Then we have to believe that HE WILL ANSWER PRAYER!
Where we get into trouble is that we want our prayers answered
and in our timing!!!
In these moments we are simply wanting a genie in a bottle,
not our Heavenly Father who has tremendous plans for us...
if we but earnestly seek his will for our lives.
Many of you know that our adoption journey didn't start a year ago, or even two years ago.
No, our journey has been going on for many years.
I was guilty of seeing couples having babies and wondering why God didn't bring me mine. I have watched couples get matched almost instantly...and I have watched friends become pregnant and birth those beautiful babies all while I was waiting to be chosen.
But through that time I had to keep going back to the truth...
I was praying for God to grant me the desire of my heart, but more importantly...I was asking for HIS will to be done in my life. I am a firm believer in prayer...so if I am praying for God's will, and we were not being matched...then logic would tell me that each of our previous situations were not God's will for our family.
Unfortunately, we still get caught up in comparing....
we compare time lines and dates,
then get frustrated when someone else achieves a milestone before us.
We compare how many photos we have seen of our child/children.
We compare how soon our child learns that he/she has a forever family,
wether we can send a care package...
and if we can Skype, when, and how many times.
Yes it is hard to wait, yes it is hard to see others receive the blessings that we may not have,
yes it can be painful.
But friends, have we lost sight that each and every one of us have been called by God to a personal journey to adopt our treasures.
Ultimately, the truth is, we all have a different journey to walk with HIM.
There are wonderful similarities that allow us to do life together.
We may be adopting from the same country, same provence, same orphanage, same gender...
But even with these similarities, God has each of us on a personal journey.
One that will shape us and grow us to be the Christ followers
that HE has been grooming us to be.
My journey will not be identical to yours and likewise yours will not be identical to mine.
For this I am grateful!
You see, even when I tried to expedite our journey by having ALL our paperwork sent in with our initial application fee.
God had the perfect timing for our family.
Obviously it was not MY timing...but HIS timing is perfect!!!
We would have never asked for the problems we had with Aaron's birth certificate or for our estimated travel time to come and go...But again...God's timing is perfect.
He will use EVERY situation for the good of those who love him!!!
Would I love to jump on a plane this very moment and pick up our son???
You better believe it!
BUT, I will choose to be overjoyed and thankful that Christ has lead us to our son, and that HE is in control of OUR journey!!
I slipped up again this week and fell into the comparing game:(
I asked another sweet adoptive mama when she filed a certain document and where she is at now...somehow grasping at straws to learn when we can finally be united with our newest member of our family.
But then I was quickly reminded that I have been in fervent prayer for our journey.
And our timeline may look very different from this friend's timeline.
Instead, I am going to rest in the blessings HE has given me!
The truth is...we have been given the awesome privilege of Skyping with our sweet boy!!!
I know it is a priceless gift that is not always granted. That blessing has not been lost on us!!
We have been praying for Aaron's heart to be open and receptive to our family. And for God to remove all fear of the future.
We are in awe of how HE has answered these prayers!!!
Aaron is in a FABULOUS orphanage with caregivers who love him and want the very best for his future!!! He is absolutely gorgeous, funny, and outgoing. He loves music, drawing, and sports.
He has asked Mélika to teach him to play the guitar
(not when he gets home...but now through Skype:)
I have never seen such pure excitement and concentration!!
and Kylee loves to show Aaron her drawings.
Aaron looked at each one and joyfully asked her questions.
My very favorite times have been looking up bible verses together. He loves to read them to us.
Until this time we had no idea he could even read in English!!
I know that we will still have difficulty communicating when we first travel for Aaron. We are relying heavily on interpreters right now. But oh how my heart rejoices that with the interpreter's help, Aaron is getting to know us and his fear of leaving with us will be lessened!
I praise God for my personal journey to our son!!