Have you ever experienced great sorrow and peace at the same time? That is where I am this evening!
We received word tonight that birthmommy for the twins in Oklahoma gave birth on January 3rd and has decided to keep them. After seeing their little faces, she simply could not follow through with an adoption plan for them.
Although very disappointed, we know that God has a plan for our family! The simplest way to put it is that I have given my heart to Jesus...and I TRUST HIM WITH IT!! He will not give us more than we can handle, and he will carry us and lead us down the path we are to be on! We pledged to praise HIM whether we were chosen or not. So, as soon as the email came in, the four of us sat down together with tear stained faces and praised God for his faithfulness, and for growing us on this journey. I don't know why we have put ourselves out multiple times without being chosen. I don't know why I felt so very convicted to prepare and pack. I don't know why it took 63 days to get an answer...any answer. But I do know that we are being stretched, molded, and prepared for the journey ahead. I believe that we have been obedient and it has not gone unnoticed by our heavenly father.
After praying together our family sort of went our separate ways tonight. Hubby brought work home this weekend and got back to it, Kylee went back to the movie she was watching, and Mélika was in texting land with some friends. My dear friend Natascha came over to sit and pray with me...love you friend! What blessed my heart was that both our girls came in to check on me and see how I was doing. We encouraged and reminded each other that we want the Giver more than the gift!
When Kylee came in to see me, she said, "I am doing better than I thought I would." She went on to say that she has been learning about disappointment in Children's Church (Thank you Pastor Jeff and Miss Liz...she is listening:) She shared the story of Joseph and how he endured many trials, would gain favor, and then be knocked down again. But then she said....but look where God took him in the end! We cannot see the end of this story, but we trust and believe that He has plans for us. Plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future!!!!
Though the sorrow may last for the night....joy comes with the morning!!!!